Disassembled KitchenAid stand mixer (KV25G0X ER) to figure it why it had (months ago) started making horrible noises and stopped turning. Answer: shitty plastic gear housing (8211779) broke. Ordered replacement metal gear housing (8212396) and can of grease online.
While replacing shitty plastic gear housing, before repacking grease, discovered additional answer: worm gear (9709231) had two teeth stripped. Verified that new housing makes it turn, but stripped gear + need for repacking = still bad noise. Buying replacement worm gear this weekend probably.
All in all, I can't recommend putting bikes in basements at floor level. (I knew that already; I plead depressive apathy. I had a very bad job and a very cluttered house at the time I put it away.) But it shouldn't be too expensive to fix at this stage.
Meanwhile, fixie went flat while parked for the umpteenth time. I have been removing the tire and checking for debris and burrs and naked pokey spokes, but haven't seen anything that explains it. Am at the point of buying new tires, wider (28+ mm) and puncture-resistant, on the theory that I'm just a massive brute and Camberville's roads are Satan.
The grocery store 2 blocks from my house reopened as a Whole Paycheck. Their produce section is awe-inspiring, almost as much in quality as in price. Would much prefer Trader Joe's, but wasn't asked. At least there is a TJ's reasonably close to work.