CPAN

...for when it absolutely, positively has to be held up indefinitely.

Dear whoever is to blame for CPAN:

1. 1/3 of CPAN packages have tests that randomly break for stupid reasons. The correct way to fix this is as follows:

   1. make an autobuilder for each supported platform;
   2. if the autobuild fails, don't ship the package;
   3. if it was for a stupid reason, publicly humiliate the developer until the package works.

   I will, however, settle for a "-f" switch.

2. STOP FUCKING ASKING ME. JUST DO IT.

(For options to make CPAN behave less stupidly, see below. God, Perl hackers have the second-lowest usability standards in the world.)