December 28th, 2008


en_ki's Guide To Globalization, You Idiots

I am attempting to get myself a big fat stack of German popular music other than Rammstein, in order to get some listening practice in before my trip.

Peter Fox, of the band Seeed (ja, drei ees), is currently #9 on the German pop charts.1

If I search for him in my little iTunes Music Store whatzit, I get zero hits.2

If I search for him on Amazon's MP3 service, I get zero hits.2

If I search for him on without restriction, I get his latest album... as an "import", for $59.

If I search for him on, I get his latest album... shipped, from Germany, for €27 = $38.

If I search for him on The Pirate Bay, the FIRST HIT is the ENTIRE GERMAN TOP 100 for 2008, exactly what I am looking for, in one big file. It is 500 MB and I will have it all very shortly.

You will notice that I went to a lot of trouble to get a legitimate version of this thing. Had it turned up on iTunes or Amazon for $1/MP3, I would have happily paid that. Had it turned up on the worldwide internet retailer that gets approximately 100% of my (and the world's) business at some kind of reasonable price (as opposed to 3-4x the normal price), I would have happily paid that. And now I'm not going to, because you couldn't be bothered to sell it to me.

This is 2008. TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT. The "internet" is not a "new" "thing" anymore. There was a really big bubble, remember? And it burst? Like, ten YEARS ago? That thing?

The idea that a random American should wish to purchase music from the top of the pop charts in Germany is not some bizarre idea that you are understandably uncomfortable with. It is the fucking norm. Go home and let somebody else run your business, because you are a grasping fuckwit with your big fat hand stuck in the cookie jar because you won't let go and eventually the market is going to find you and piss on you till you drink it.

1 He is also the first performer on the German pop charts who (a) sings in German and (b) is not dull-ass emo shit. And apparently Warren Ellis has heard of him.
2 Well, lots of random other people with "Peter" or "Fox" in the name.

ADDENDUM: oh, but look! I go back to see if there's a way to switch countries, and ITMS is offering their top iPod app, "iFart Mobile". Thanks, guys! I guess we really are living in the future!
And yes, you can "switch countries".