November 3rd, 2008


Greater Somerville Voter Guide 2008: Bile For Everybody!

OK, seriously, folks. I've been abdicating the hell out of my civic duty, not campaigning, not writing inform-a-posts, nothing, because I have lost most of the faith I used to have in my fellow Americans' notions of honor and justice. I expected the rest of you to pick up the slack. But where were you? Not a peep about the MA ballot (OK, a little bit of a peep about #1) do I hear, even from the perennially faux-phisticated Phoenix. So I have to go and research it myself after all, the night before the election, when I'm getting up to go get in line to vote before 7 the next day. Frowny face. For the record:

President & Vice President: Obama & Biden

- "Libertarian" Bob Barr (actually a Republican opportunist) is the author of the Defense of Marriage Act, which makes him a scumsucking sack of shit. If you voted for him, the stink sticks to you. I have voted Libertarian for President before, but won't for him and not for a long time after.

- John McCain is a coward, a liar, and a crook, and has nothing but contempt for Americans and our law. He can go back to the fucking Panama Canal Zone. (And he can take Miss Not Quite Alaska with him; her home state doesn't want her.)

- At this point, I would vote for a canned ham over the other guys, and I don't even like meat. Obama is supremely competent and eloquent, and Biden is at least one of these. I'll evaluate their actual policies when I see them in practice.

Senator in Congress: Underwood (or maybe Kerry after all)
Representative in Congress (seventh district): Markey

Kerry and Markey are powerful Congressmen who more or less represent my interests. Even though I have to hold my nose a little for Markey and a lot for Kerry, it would take an opponent who was very well-aligned with my views to overcome that.

- Kerry's Republican opponent (no name for you, you cipher you) is a "homeland security consultant": i.e., a war-profiteering leech and/or mercenary. He can suck it.

- Markey's Republican opponent, John Cunningham, is like some kind of Ron Paul: get out of the war (yay!), legalize drugs (yay!), various other civil-libertarian things (yay!), cut taxes and spending (whatevs), gold standard ECONOMICS FAIL. But good try. I will donate a bag of leftover Reese's Peanut Butter Cups to his defeat party.

- Kerry's Libertarian opponent Robert J. Underwood has civil-libertarian positions and realizes that public health is one of those public goods like police and fire departments. In fact, to the extent that his website is legible, I agree completely with him. I am a little worried about this, but I think we should have more Senators who write their manifestos in crayon. Then again, he's in the same party as Bob Barr.

Senator in General Court: Pat Jehlen (she's a classic hardworking local politician and gets a gold star)
Councilor (sixth district): I may write in "never head of him", because Mr. Michael Unopposed-y Pants Callahan can't be bothered to campaign. But apparently he's done the right thing with respect to the parole board.
Representative in General Court: Garballey (kid's got spunk, what the hell)
Register of Probate: DeCristofaro (good, detailed post on BMG; way more than you'd expect for an office nobody has any idea about)

1: hee hee1
2: yes, stop putting people in jail for smoking weed already
3: yes, or maru_mari will kill me in my sleep
4: yes, whatevs

1 Question 1 sets the state income tax to zero in 2010. People freak out about this, but

(a) Property taxes. Exempt the first X USD2008 of home value. Income taxes squeeze people who are doing well right now, while property taxes squeeze people who did well in the past and are sitting on it, giving them incentive to put it to work or sell it, which would go a long way toward unfucking the real estate situation here. While we're at it, the same applies to securities...

(b) This is an ordinary initiative petition: i.e., it changes the law rather than amending the constitution. If it's such a disaster, the legislature can turn around the day after the election and pass a law to undo it, and at least we'll get to find out why none of the alternatives can work.

So I expect I will actually vote yes, contrary to the opinion of 100% of the people I respect and trust who care about this matter. You have, like, 5 hours to convince me otherwise.

2 Medford-in-the-Marshes is part of Greater Somerville. See previous posts regarding lebensraum, the protection of my ethnic Somervillian brothers from Medfordian oppression, etc.